Speed Dating Tips
Fall or winter is coming, and school and work fill singles’ lives, leaving you little time to meet that someone special, who is probably busy too. How about trying speed dating? Also known by names like “Accel-a-Date” or “Blink Dating,” there are a lot of reasons why it makes perfect sense. You can share your favorite things to do with someone special once you’ve met them, and you don’t have to wait very long to get started enjoying your time together. These days you have so many ways to make your life more efficient – why not try speed dating to streamline your search for someone? Then you can enjoy spending plenty of time – together. Imagine getting past all your future bad dates in a half hour, and finding someone with real possibilities.
If you’re unfamiliar with speed dating you may be excited to hear about it, because it removes much of the discomfort of traditional dating. It’s still face-to-face contact where you can feel if you “click” with that special someone. While you might be planning your escape on a traditional date that doesn’t work, in speed dating you just have to face someone for five minutes, then you’re off to the next. And, heaven forbid you should face rejection, it won’t come in a tired old line or put-down, you simply won’t have a match. Imagine the thrill, though, when you find out you chose someone who chose you too!
You’ve probably heard about all the research studies that have discovered how scent, or eye contact, or a subconscious “feeling” about the other person is a stronger connection than just common interests or what your parents always told you that you should look for. In speed dating, you still get the opportunity to connect in all these ways, and even better, you have a chance to see whether you connect with a bunch of people in one evening.
Originally designed to help Jewish singles meet, speed dating can connect you with whatever kind of person you seek – or discover a new “type” you didn’t know you liked. Many groups are designed to focus on a particular preference, and some are designed to mix and match in a broader way. If you’re gay, lesbian, prefer older or younger partners, you name it, it’s probably available in a speed dating group.
Type “speed dating” and your city into your favorite search engine, and you will find local events, some run for profit, others as pub events or run by civic groups or churches and temples. The cost is usually quite reasonable, much less than dating services. Check the Open Directory and Google Directory listings below for many local groups.
Dress according to the group, from business casual to “just yourself,” and give yourself time to arrive a little early so you won’t be stressed. Organizers will explain how they run the event, which generally involves a kind of “musical chairs” situation where you sit face to face with other singles and have a short chat, then submit your “bids” for the ones you think you’d like to date. If they submit your name too, start thinking about your first date! It’s not that different from some of the “hiring fairs” you might have gone to on your job search, brief contacts with lots of possibility.
You may be concerned about “stage fright,” after all you will sit down in front of a stranger and have around five minutes to make the connection. Such pressure! Don’t worry. The key for speed dating is to let the connection happen, just as you would meeting a stranger on a bus – chance brings you together, and chance will make the connection if it is to be. It’s not just a high-pressure version of regular dating with several hours packed into a few minutes, it’s giving chance a chance.
What happens if you don’t get any matches right away? Again, don’t worry about it. Speed dating has the goal of making a connection for you, but it’s also a lot of fun. Once you’re walking hand in hand with your special someone, you may miss the excitement of meeting so many new people. Just let things happen, and before you know it you’ll click with someone wonderful. Just keep listening to your heart, and be open to possibilities. These are all the people you could have been dating and finding that they just didn’t click, the “right one” is on the way. With speed dating, time passes more quickly, getting you to that big smile even sooner. Don’t think about the numbers, relax and start smiling about the happy feeling when you find someone to hold and connect with.